The '25 Things' of Alex Past...

While looking through my documents I found this; My '25 things' from 2009. I stand by everything I wrote here. Number 7 is of particular interest in reference to this blog...

1.    There is nothing more terrifying to me than the idea of dying alone and friendless. I understand that most people have this fear, but it terrifies me nonetheless. In year 10 I had to read ‘The Pigman’ (written by somebody amazing yet sadly forgettableL). This book changed my entire view regarding the relationships you make throughout your life. Until I read this book, I held the idea that once you found your “true-love” you would never be lonely again. This book completely shattered this notion. DAMN YOU PAUL ZINDEL! (that’s his name by the way:P)

2.     Despite this however, I’m also terrified of developing close relationships with people – friendship is fine but anything more intimate frightens me.

3.    I wish I was more intelligent then I am. I guess I’m incredibly jealous of/ intimidated by the people I associate with regularly.

4.     I love being a Jewess. It makes my uncontrollable political incorrectness somewhat justifiable…

5.     I hate it when people assume that because I’m Jewish I must also be pro-Zionist. I AM NOT! I believe that politics has NO place within religion, and that I shouldn’t be forced to embrace a cause I do not support simply because of my ethnicity and cultural ties.

6.    I have never broken anybodies heart or had my heart broken. I prefer to watch other people living their lives instead of living my own. It’s just easier that way.

7.    I wish I had the creativity/ talent to write anything of significance, whether it be stories, music, essays, speeches, anything really. Words don’t come easily to me (surprisingly)! I have so many thoughts buzzing around in my head at any one time, that ordering them to form coherent/complete sentences/ideas is usually so much effort that I lose all pleasure in doing so, thus defeating the purpose of writing anything in the first place.

8.    Despite this lack of talent, I won the state prize in the Nestle Write Around Australia Competition in 2001. My story was about a boy that got eaten by his rubbish bin. It was called ‘How I Died from a Simple Chore’.

9.    I have trouble sleeping at night. It’s really becoming a problem.

10. I genuinely believe my life would be better if I was a man, least of all because I would (hopefully) have the capacity to grow a crazy-delicious beard without being judged by society.

11. I feel sad if I’m not one of the funniest people in the room mainly because I feel that my sense of humour/ the ability to make other laugh is all I really have to contribute to society.

12.  If you’re lost, you can look and you will find me, time after time.

13.  I really wish I could sing musicals well and hit up Broadway! Of course, even if I was amazing I would still have to be able to dance (which I can’t)… damn… it was an amazing plan while it lasted…

14. Surprisingly, I really don’t hate people. Unfortunately I have the capacity to strongly dislike somebody for an extended period of time, but once I’m left to stew, I realize that I never hated them in the first place, nor shall I in the future. This is yet another example of why the things that I say should be ignored…

15. I really dislike weddings and funerals – really any place where it is dictated how you should emotionally react to the situation. I’m the sort of person who would cry at a wedding and laugh at a funeral. This isn’t because I’m a horrible person or anything (mum), but because that is how I deal with things.

16. I can’t stand to see men cry – if they cry, I cry. I think this is because of my father. Growing up, I only ever saw my dad cry in sadness twice – when I was 7 he cried because my nona’s dementia had become so bad that she didn’t recognize him anymore, and when I was 12 and she passed away. I guess I associate men crying with truly devastating events, events that I should feel horrible about…

17. I don’t read as much as I used to. This saddens me

18.  I do not have any hobbies or interests.

19.  If I eat too much sugar I start crying uncontrollable about insignificant things. It’s really awkward to both experience and justify to people who aren’t aware of this.

20.  When I was in primary school I was bullied a lot and had no friends. I think it’s because of this that I worry that nobody likes me. Even when I’m in a crowded room or in the centre of a circle I feel excluded.

21.  I love colour. The only colour I don’t like (although it is really a shade) is white. I have never liked it, and I doubt I ever will. I find it too cold, uninviting and unemotional.

22.  I love my bother but hate what he’s become. Unfortunately he can’t see how his actions affect us all. I think that dealing with him has taught me a lot about tolerating the behaviors of the people you love even if you hate what they are doing to themselves.

23.  My bedroom looks like an amazing combination of a museum, library, second hand shop and apothecary on crack. I love it.

24. When I develop crushes on people (which I do A LOT) they tend to last for a long time. This is because I’m generally attracted to my idea of the person rather than the person themselves. What this means is that if I have ever had a crush on you, you are not in a relationship and we haven’t have a falling out of massive proportions, chances are I still like you to some degree… you have been warned:P

25.  I’m sorry for inflicting my insecurities upon you. I will never do it again… today. 

Ah, unrealistic/highly romanticised ideals, my old friends...

As is apparent, it has been a while since my last post. I would like to say that life has been standing in my way, holding me back from all progress on this not-so-epic quest to self realisation, but if I did I would be lying. Yes, life has made it difficult, robbing me of time and energy, but the complete lack of motivation is not life's fault, it is my own. 

I think it is safe to say that Short Fiction and it's many subgenres is not my thing. With five Short Fiction subgenres left to explore (55 Fiction, Drabble, Flash, Microfiction, Pinhead) I found myself unable to dedicate time to any of them, found myself unable to care enough...

I find Short Fiction too limited, to fixed for me. I want to write, unhindered by the constrains of world limit or the convention of a twist ending. I want to to swept away by an idea and be able to go as far as I can with it without worrying if I've gone too far. At this point in this experiment, the only thing I know for certain is that I don't want to feel like the genre is holding me back. 

It is for this reason that I'm going to shut the door on Short Fiction and focus on another genre and it's subgenres. I haven't quite decided which yet, but will (wankily) let my heart decide. 

A new genre, a new adventure, a new reason to greet the world with excitement, wonder and awe. 

Here's hoping I learn something...

Short Fiction

The genre of Short Fiction is defined by its length, well, technically, its word count. Short, also called 'short-short' and (rarely) 'sudden' Fiction is exactly what the name implies. It can encompass any of the other genres, as long as it meets all length requirements. The challenge when writing within the short fiction genre, is that the end result should be a complete and interesting story.

 As I'm discovering, brief yet satisfying stories are a challenge to write, and as a result, the majority of Short Fiction pieces rely on the use of a twist ending to add interest. 

Authors such as O Henry and HH Munro grew famous for their works of Short Fiction.

2. Twitterfic

Having never ‘tweeted’ before, I had no idea how hard it would be to write a Twitterfic story. As one of the newest known subgenres of the Short Fiction genre, Twitterfic stories must fit within one Twitter post, being fewer than 140 characters. Twitterfic stories characteristically have a twist ending, but this is not always the case. 

An example found on the Twitterfiction twitter page: 

"He knew it. Sensed it. A dreadful feeling shot up to his mind just a moment before she spoke. It was over. Her husband knew. He had to hide." 

My own attempts: 

“As hard as she tried she couldn’t forget his smell or the way his lips met hers. Yet now he was dead and she had naught but these memories."

“I’ve fallen I love with random women on the subway too many times for you to feel anything for me but pity. Pity clouded with revulsion.”

“He spent twenty years building up the courage to ask her. When she said yes he almost died, but didn’t. He died instead as he said, “I do”.”

Conclusion: After initial confusion as to whether spaces count as characters or not (turns out they do), the previously mentioned numeric incompetence came into play. I really don't do numbers well...

All in all, I really enjoyed writing these. Again, the practicality of this subgenre stumps me (it's useful if you live your life in status updates, not useful if you don't), but then again, it is deceptively challenging and a nice exercise of brain power.  

1. Six Word

When I first saw this genre I thought, “Six words! Seriously? This is going to be simple!” As it turns out, it’s not. It’s really quite difficult. 

Six Word is exactly that, a story created with only six words, making it the very shortest of all sub-genres. Unlike the other sub-genres of the Short Fiction genre, Six Word stories aim to be poignant rather than have a twist ending. For example, Ernest Hemingway is said to have written: "For sale, baby shoes, never used." I didn’t come up with anything quite so poignant…

“He came, I saw, he bellowed,”

“She should have followed her heart.”

“His biggest mistake was trusting her."

“She hurt him because she could.”

Conclusion: Well, apparently I have trouble counting to six. Quite a few times I thought I had come up with something amazing, only to recount and find I had five words. My doubts as to the practicality of this genre aside, my numeric incompetence indicates that it’s not really for me. 

The Experiment Begins...

It is often said that everybody has at least one good novel in them, one story worth writing down and sharing with the world. Now, I don't know if this is true or not (I highly doubt it is) but I thought I'd give it a go, and a go I did give it. 

I had thought about writing a novel for a while, fantasying about how I'd love to introduce myself to people as a published author, preferably one who pushed the boundaries of social normalcy and stood out from others as somebody of spunk despite not having any discernible talent. And so I picked the genre of romance, thinking the almost formulaic plots of romances would make it simple to write. I devised a story, developed characters, wrote a sizzling sex scene, had over ten thousand words of (borderline) literary brilliance, and in one half hour of crippling self doubt, deleted it all. All of it. Every. Last. Word. 

Devastation doesn't even cover how I felt when I realised what I had done. It had taken 5 seconds to delete over 4 weeks of hard work. Now, you might ask, "Why did you do it, Alex? Was none of it salvageable?" The simple answer is, no, it was not. The main reason for this is truly embarrassing to me, something which I wouldn't admit to anybody as freely as I do here if it weren't for my practical anonymity: 

I deleted all I had written because I was simply too lazy to edit it in a way that would be acceptable or satisfying. Twelve thousand words into my novel and I just couldn't write anymore. I knew where the plot was going. I knew how the characters would relate to each other. I knew what they would say to each other at the end when they explained their previous actions before declaring their undying love for each other and falling into the nearest bed and consummating this love in a maelstrom of feeling... but despite this, I just could not do it. 

It took me a while to figure out why. Despite my love of the romance genre, it was not something that came naturally for me as a writer. It had taken so much effort to write those ten thousand words that the exercise was no longer enjoyable. It was then that I decided that I needed to know what is.  

This is where this blog comes in. Using the List of Literary Genres found at http://www.cuebon.com/ewriters/genres.html, it is my intention to write a snippet based on each genre in an attempt to discover where my literary heart lies. 

In each post, I will explain the genre in question, discuss my initial reactions to the genre and present my own attempt(s) at the genre, before closing with my conclusion. This conclusion will discuss any problems experienced and my final thought on the genres as a whole. 

It is going to take me a while (there are over 250 genres listed), but I will persevere. At the end of the day, if it all fails terribly, at least it will make a great story to tell in years to come.

Then perhaps I'll write it down...